Friday, July 27, 2012

Making the heart grow fonder

I know, I know, I know…I have slacked big time. To be honest I haven’t been able to tell many stories because I haven’t been living with my angels. If anyone knows me at all you know how hard this has been for me. The hardest thing about making my decision to move home was realizing I would have to be without my boys for at least 7-8 months. In case you aren’t really up to speed with my life, in February I moved out of my apartment in San Diego and moved all of my stuff back to my parent’s house in Murrieta (thank you Mom and Dad). I had a wake up/mid-life crisis and realized I needed to pay off all of my debt before I turned 30. I knew the only way to accomplish this would be to not pay rent for about 7-8 months. When I first made the decision to move out I knew I could depend on friends to stay with down here but I truly thought I would be sleeping in my car 3 days out of the week. It wouldn’t be worth it to drive to Murrieta and back to San Diego every day because the gas prices are way too high. I thought I would have this comfy bed in my backseat and just park around the streets and I was actually kind of looking forward to it. Unfortunately, (but very fortunately) I am in love with my boyfriend who lives 4 blocks from my work in Little Italy. I have been able to stay with him for a majority of the time. I go to my parents on the weekends to see my dogs. They have been staying with my parents because I figured it would be better for them to have a stable place to stay and they love my parent’s house with the other dogs. It has been really hard without them. At first it was kind of nice because I could leave work and go straight out to dinner or anywhere I wanted and I didn’t have to worry about going home to let the dogs out. I also didn’t have to worry about waking up early to let the dogs out to the bathroom. Then after 2 weeks I realized that I looked forward to rushing home after work, opening my door to see their welcoming faces. I also realized I loved waking up early to walk outside and get a fresh start to my morning. Most of all I just miss seeing them everyday. Luckily, my wonderful boyfriend has let them stay over at his place for a few weeks at a time so that I can spend some quality time with them. I will be moving out in the next 2 months and am really looking forward to having them back in my life full time. A week ago I got home from work on a Friday night and I went straight into Matt’s spare bedroom. I cried for 3 hours that night in the bed with my face in the pillow thinking about Oscar and Diego dying. I told Matt, with tears streaming down my face and snot in my nose, “I can’t picture my life without them and I don’t want them to die”. Best boyfriend in the world said that they will still be around or 10 more years and I do not even have to worry about that now. Needless to say this has taken its toll on me emotionally. My mom says she knows when I am entering on the dirt road because they both start to get anxious. I can’t drive fast enough and the gate seems as though it takes an eternity to open. I park and jump out of the car running up to the door. I open it up and run to the floor to lie down. They both jump all over me and lick me like crazy for 20 minutes. This is what I look forward to every weekend. For the next two days they don’t leave my side. Oscar’s nub of a tail is wagging for 48 hours. When I leave on Sunday nights I don’t say goodbye to them because I get too emotional. I get in my car and half way through my ride back to San Diego I feel guilty for not having said goodbye. I see people with their dogs and I feel the void in my life not having them with me all of the time. They will be coming to stay this week with Matt and I and I will definitely have some stories to write about, I promise.xo

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