Monday, July 30, 2012

Zombies and Benadryl

I told you I would have a story to tell but I didn’t think and hoping it wouldn’t be the first night I had the dogs here at Matt’s. Matt and I got in at about midnight and went straight to bed (midnight is waaayy past my bed time). I was woken up at 3 am by Oscars obsessive itching and his collar jingling. I kept telling him to be quiet and when it persisted I went to grab him to pull him up to me. I felt his body and he was covered in bumps. It was the weirdest feeling. It felt like I was petting a reptile. There were small bumps all over his body. I felt this sick feeling in my stomach and rushed out of bed to turn on the light. I turned on the light and was horrified when I saw him sulking in the corner. His eyes and face were completely swollen and were blood shot red. His lips and tongue were huge and hanging out of his mouth. I thought I was going to pass out. My first instinct was that I had to take him to the emergency dog room and then I remembered my mom had dealt with this same thing with their cat and gave the cat Benadryl. My second thought was, “What the hell caused this?” and, “Oscar is going to die and I am going to be put in a mental hospital.” I lifted the blankets looking for some kind of insect. I also lifted up his food dish in case it was the food; I didn’t see anything. I really didn’t have time to find the culprit; I needed to get the medicine. I shook Matt awake to ask him if he had Benadryl and to tell him that Oscar was sick. He barely lifted an eyelid and told me it might be in the bathroom. I told him that if he ever has children I would hope his reaction would be slightly different. There was no Benadryl and so I knew I had to walk downtown to go to 7/11. As much as this post is about Oscar it is also about a discovery I had while on my journey to get the Benadryl. Anyone out past 3 am is a zombie. I have recently gotten into watching ‘Walking Dead’ and it is soooo good. From watching this fictional show I feel as though I have enough experience behind me to say whether or not someone has zombie like tendencies. I was the exception and there will sometimes be a few but other than that everyone out past 3 am is in fact a zombie. Every person I saw out at 3 am was stumbling, not walking. Secondly, most of the time while they’re walking their clothes are not on as they should be. Their shirts are falling off the shoulder and their shoes are gone (who knows where they went). Thirdly, every person out past 3 am is searching for food. In 7/11 there was a stumbling couple who was buying 7 pre-packaged sushi boxes; they were definitely zombies. These people out past 3 am also cannot make complete sentences when speaking. They often moan, laugh, snort, and sigh. They sure as hell can’t make complete sentences and they are totally incoherent. I was frightened. I was walking quickly through the streets trying to outrun these people in fear of losing my life before I could get the Benadryl to my first born son. I would come around the corner and see the zombies and if they heard me they would stop and stare and start walking towards me. I made it home thank goodness. When I got home Oscars face looked a little better. The dosage rule for a dog is 1 mg for every pound. One pill is 25 mg so I hid Oscar’s pill in a chunk of mozzarella cheese and it went down easy. He was fast asleep and snoring in 25 minutes. We woke up this morning and he was perfectly fine. I can’t help but wonder what it was that caused that reaction and I hope whatever it is it is long gone just like the minds of those after 3 am; poor bastards.

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